The Plan? Yeah, that didn't happen. This week I have been a bit under the weather. Nothing atrocious, just a head cold. No serious nasal congestion, just massive head congestion and I have had a headache for 6 days. Ack! I rarely get headaches so it was yucky. And it was weird because while I didn't really feel that sick, I completely felt uncomfortable + no equilibrium. Not cool. Plus, when I did run, my HR was crazy out of control. Great. So I have just been winging it and taking it easy. I also have a crazy "bump" on the outside of my little toe. It doesn't hurt running, but drives me nuts at work. Definitely residue of Chicago - what is it?!?!!

The good news was I woke up at 5:00 am today and felt great. No run at that time b/c I wanted to get into work early as I am thankfully busy with some very interesting work. Well, that didn't work either. My 8 year old was saying he didn't want to bring his Halloween costume for his party (at day care) for the strangest reasons. And he seemed really down in general. Alright, what's up? So he had his old costume and some parts fell off. I fixed them and assured it wouldn't happen again. To no avail. New costume, looks bad (full detail on how). Ack. Welcome to third grade. So we work out a reluctant compromise and I get to day care where they ask me if James told me about "what happened" yesterday. Nope. Apparently a couple of his closest buds really started picking on him. All kids had to be separated (FYI - this doesn't happen often in school age day care unless there is some seriously ridiculous behavior). Apparently they were okay at the end of the day, but James was very sad. And apparently this is becoming a real, ongoing problem. Not a one-time thing.

I knew he'd be just devastated that his teacher was saying all of this to me, but was so thankful. How else would I have known?! These 2 kids have been James' friends for a long time and with great ups and downs. I pulled him aside as we walked into the hallway and he was embarrassed and did not want to talk about it. He looked crushed. I tried to reassure him, gave him a kiss, and got in my car. But the world was just not right.

Got to work, and decided this was just not going to work. I couldn't focus on anything but how to make sure he can handle this crap and keep a healthy self-esteem. I went back and picked him up. We decided to spend the morning together to talk, get a cool journal to do together (he has been into books like that) and a Halloween costume he loved and felt comfortable in. We had a great time! And he found a costume that fit and he loved it. We talked lots about what happened with his friends (but not too much), and while he clearly told me he didn't want to talk about it, he did. And I felt like I did the best I could to reassure him and tell him how to handle it (and how to differentiate the behavior from his other good friends who never treat him like that - and why that just illustrates why it is so important to be nice). It is all his choices, but I try to give him the tools. Crap shoot on how it affects him/reaches him.

We got back to day care in time for the party and the kids that had made fun of him were now there. Surprise! He didn't want to put on his costume and looked embarrassed. I gave him a big hug, worked at home, and picked them both up just after noon. The good news was he had the courage to put on his new costume despite the pressure. And tonight when I asked him about it, he finally said he put it on because he wanted to and tried to encourage his friends to put theirs on. They didn't, but he felt it was their loss. I told him I was proud and he said, "why, because I stood up for myself and did it because I wanted to?" Bingo. :)

Long story shorter, this has been culminating for a while with both boys. My husband and I have recently decided that while day care was PERFECT when I went back to work 2 years ago, now it is not working. These kids go 100% from 7:00 am to 8:00 pm. School, day care, sport, then rush home to do homework, reading and shower. THEY HAVE NO DOWN TIME. And that is a crappy thing to do to your kids. Mix in some serious peer pressure and negative behaviors and.....Well, it is not working. SO, I am in the market for a part-time nanny. That way they can come home after school and chill some. Not have all the extra stuff. Plus she can help do dinner, get homework started, etc., so we can have more time together on the just plain "how are you today" stuff. Fingers crossed. And 2 interviews lined up.

Lesson Learned: Today I was crazy busy and did NOT have time to skip the day at work. But my kid's self esteem is way more important than anything else.

Lesson 2: Doing something nice for someone you care about it is one of the most fulfilling actions in the world.

Lesson 3: While the particulars of parenting are ever-changing, the challenges strike deeper and deeper in the heart as time goes on. It makes sense as kids get older and you recall your own challenges and can relate with their stresses. Sadly, my colleague is burying his 17 year old daughter tomorrow after a year long battle with cancer. It is incredibly heartbreaking, and it reminds me of how thankful I actually am for my challenges.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE: I ran 6 easy this evening. Wicked windy, but first "snap" these legs have felt in weeks. New goal is to lose the 4-5 lbs I already gained since Chicago (seriously!) and enjoy my half next weekend!

Happy Halloween!